Angry Writing

   you know how they say when you are mad you shouldn't say anything you might regret?
FUCK THAT.

   im pissed off right now and the only thing that cares are these keys. there is not a single person on this earth that fully understands me and my mind. i am not saying that my mind is anymore complicated than any other person's, but i am saying that there is no other that is so drastically misunderstood.

   not my friends nor my family even has a clue. my dad is the closest to understanding because his father is the source of our mutual problems. but, i am confident that even he, the one man who shares these vary things that he himself has passed down, does not fully understand. if you know me, i am sorry to say that you only know a small portion, and that portion is most likely the same one that everyone else "knows".

   there is a hidden majority of me inside that i rarely disclose. if you have witnessed this disclosure then you surely didn't understand it the way it was meant, because if you did i wouldn't have ever left your side since.

   this feeling of alienation is nothing novel to me, for i have grown used to it over years of introspection. i thought that fitting in was only important when you actually cared about fitting in. i am wrong. not fitting in is much harder than anyone who fits in could know (if you fit in you are laughing at this). one can not care about fitting in all they want, but the gap between those who fit and those who don't is still there and it is constantly getting wider. and let me tell you, its really lonely on my side.

aside: i love all of my friends and value our relationships very much for i wouldn't be me if it weren't for you.